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I, Frankenstein is going to leave a scar

31 Jan

i-frankenstein

It’s alive! Well, it is happy to be breathing at this point because the newest interpretation of Mary Shelley’s classic character has many noticeable imperfections that are going to leave a scar. At times, the film is entertaining, but then it falls into a familiar sounding story line, “There has been a war…” and basically the Frankenstein monster is going to have to choose a side because his soulless body has the potential to change the face of the conflict. The film is on life support because the acting, directing and story telling falls short of the magic Kevin Grevioux’s created in the Underworld franchise. Aaron Eckhart’s stick wielding becomes repetitive and Yvonne Strahovski’s character is asked to make unrealistic leaps in a short amount of time in order to push the story forward. It just doesn’t work. However, this is NOT the worst Frankenstein film I have seen and maybe Grevioux bring it back to life in a sequel.

WORD COUNT 160:
Chuck’s Grade: C-

Adam’s Grade: N/A

47 RONIN are turning over in their graves

30 Dec

47-ronin-film

The film’s director, Carl Erik Rinsch is probably kneeling before a room of executives at Universal and offering to perform seppuku for the dismal 47 Ronin starring Keanu Reeves. Everyone knew the film was in trouble long before its eventual Christmas release date, but I (Chuck) am a martial art film junkie and wanted to give the film a fair viewing. Unfortunately, the film lived up to its bad press by putting together a poorly assembled re-interpretation of the legendary story about Japan’s most famous samurai. There was no cohesion from scene to scene because the production is unable to balance the fantasy with the real story. Rinsch tries to honor both ideas, but it simply does not work. The special effects are distracting and predictable. Also, Universal Studios should be ashamed of themselves for thinking a  story about a group a men known for gaining honor through mass suicide would be a successful holiday blockbuster.

WORD COUNT: 154

Chuck’s Grade: D

Adam’s Grade: N/A

Middle Men does not measure up

12 Feb

Middle-Men

George Gallo’s Middle Men has all the ingredients to make a successful film, but it fails to execute at the right moments because it tries too hard to make Jack Harris (Luke Wilson) into a saint-like figure surrounded by a sea of porn stars, drugs, money, and the Russian mafia. The story is based on the true life events surrounding Christopher Mallick’s success with online billing services in the 1990s. It is a simple story about straight-laced businessman helping a couple of out of control misfits (Wayne and Buck) turn a simple idea into a multi-million dollar enterprise. Giovanni Ribisi and Gabriel Macht’s over the top performances are entertaining, but the film drags on and spends way too much time dealing with Jack’s marriage when it should focus on the action created by Wayne, Buck, and Nikita (Russian mob boss). Middle Men will find a home on a late night movie channel, but not on my Blu-Ray/DVD shelf.

WORD COUNT: 159

Chuck’s Grade: C-

Adam’s Grade: N/A

In The Name Of The King robs the rich and steals from the poor

11 Dec

In-the-Name-of-the-King

Uwe Boll is becoming very good at making bad movies with recognizable talent. In the Name of the King is no different than many of his other projects like the Bloodrayne series. It consist of a poor script with actors (Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, and Ron Perlman) that should have known better, but could not say no to the paycheck. The special effects reminds viewers of a late 80s movie while the directing and cinematography is simply flat. I am assuming the only aspect of the film I found visually interesting was probably shot by the first AD. Honestly, it took me six attempts to finish this film on Netflix.

I was shocked to discover this film’s budget was sixty million dollars. My first thought was “What did they spend the money on?” And my second thought was “Someone just got robbed.” What didn’t shock me was the film was a box office bomb.

WORD COUNT: 156

Chuck’s Grade: F

Adam’s Grade: F