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Birdemic: Shock and Awful

24 Jul

BIRDEMIC

Nothing can prepare you for this shockingly awful film. Birdemic is easily one of the worst films ever made, which means it has been exalted to a cult-like status with American audiences that prefer to throw up their middle finger at quality acting, directing, writing, and editing. Granted, this film was made on a 10,000 dollar budget, which also means no one believed in this film except writer/director James Nguyen. Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s Birds (a fifty year old film with superior special effects) Nyguyen casts Alan Bagh (Rod) and Whitney Moore (Nathalie) as the unsuspecting protagonists awakened after an assumed one-night stand by a flock of killer eagles. Well I guess there was more to their relationship than I originally thought because there is a Birdemic 2 released in select theaters this year. I will save everyone time and give that film an F grade as well.

WORD COUNT: 146

Adam’s Grade: F

Chuck’s Grade: N/A

In The Name Of The King robs the rich and steals from the poor

11 Dec

In-the-Name-of-the-King

Uwe Boll is becoming very good at making bad movies with recognizable talent. In the Name of the King is no different than many of his other projects like the Bloodrayne series. It consist of a poor script with actors (Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, and Ron Perlman) that should have known better, but could not say no to the paycheck. The special effects reminds viewers of a late 80s movie while the directing and cinematography is simply flat. I am assuming the only aspect of the film I found visually interesting was probably shot by the first AD. Honestly, it took me six attempts to finish this film on Netflix.

I was shocked to discover this film’s budget was sixty million dollars. My first thought was “What did they spend the money on?” And my second thought was “Someone just got robbed.” What didn’t shock me was the film was a box office bomb.

WORD COUNT: 156

Chuck’s Grade: F

Adam’s Grade: F

Repo Men: Take it Back

10 Aug

I went into this film knowing the basic premises. Man works for a company that sells organs, if you don’t make the payments, they take back what is rightfully theirs.Remy (Jude Law) explains it in short.: “Can’t pay for your house? The bank takes it. Can’t pay for your car? The bank takes it. Can’t pay for your liver? Well, that’s where I come in.” Armed with stun gun and a scalpel, Remy can jack a human organ quicker than a thief can steal your car radio. Pretty Original…Right? Repo Men combines several different elements into one film, using some of Blade Runner, Minority Report, Logan’s Run and even Vanilla Sky. The first act was pretty good, but the rest of the film falls apart at the “stitches”. The dialogue becomes absurd. The acting is mediocre at best. The dark humor is not funny and the soundtrack is annoying. I will stick with my DMV donor card.

Word count: 158

Adam’s grade: F

Chuck’s grade: C-